Kiddameh

Why is life so scary, and so upsetting. Saterday is national portfolios days, (presenting your portfolio to an art college rep) and I just so happen to be going, and allow me to say im so fucking nervous i almost dontwant to go. On top of that, Im looking for a new job because I quite JCP and ive out grown KFC, its time for some place like hobby lobby or IHOP (yum). But to put into basic words im fucking stressed. Btw any tips on presenting art to others with out making yourself feel like your art sucks? Ya things have been hectic latly and honestly i kind of just feel like im all alone in this world. I feel like ive lost most of my "friends" and those who remain i wouldnt really want to call crying because there to involved in there own lives. Normaly in this instinse i would just cry on my boyfriend only that we had a big fight tonight. UGH life is UNFAIR. anywho ya I would really just love some tips on how to present art in general. and also how has every one been? I hope ok. Let me know please. SOrry ive been so distant latly. 

Sorry that its been ten thousand years since ive been active but alas, I got a second job! So my hours jumped from 35 hours to... 75 hours! Yay, anywho I hope every ones been doing well, i have, I dont have an new art for ye no exsistant followers, sorry. I do have a perplexing problem though, college. Im debating going to a reaqlly expsemsive college... RMCAD. Its a really fantastical art college however its like $10,000 a term, before expenses. Good news is that I can get a scholarship from KFC for $5,000 a year, so thats half a term down. And im sure i can apply for more scholar ships. Idea 2 it that I just go to red rocks comunity college for 2 years then go to metro state university to get my bachelors degree in graphic design. Only 1 problem with that, I want a degree in fine arts not graphic design because it is by no means my passion. I perfer pencil to shapes and mouse every day, I mean who wants to stare at a computer screen for ten thousand hours a day anyways? *looks around very guilty of this*.

Also I need imput, NDK, or Nan desu kan is coming up in about a month and I have NO idea what to cosplay. My friend is cosplaying the tower of pimps from rooster teeths lets plays, and its fantastic, im super jelous, however I have no idea. I thought about Red from there RWBY series however, shes not quite me, and a lot of people are going to be cosplaying that series. Im beside myself in who to cosplay, Im leaning more and more towards game characters. Like kasumi from Dead or Alive, particualry 5. Or I dont even know. So Im open to ideas, pleaseeeee help me on that.

Ya Lifes been pretty good, school starts again next tuesday *sadness* but its senior year so YAY!!!!!! Its going to be so easy ill cry. Anyways Im sure Ive lost all of your attention now so Ill be going! Later.

 

Im sirry for those of under age, but here is my thought process 4 mikes hard lemonades later. (bad day at work) 1. almost confess my love to the guy ive lovedsince 7th grade. 2. totaly fucked up my set online 3. I dont even know whats goin on right now.


1. prom was very fun, better then all the dances combined.
2. It feels weird being single w/ out trying to impress or get with someone.
3. Koream drams mean... its to addifcting.

Ummm ok brain power failed ima stop now,,,,

Okkkayyy soo its been rough times, i mean like ramen everynight rough. But hey im pushing through! Soooo ya yay news, I have a rasie coming soon and hopfully a promotion as well, along with that comes another raise and more hours, so thats bueno. And tomorrow is my junior prom, im really excited for it, im kinda jittery. I wasnt even planning on going in all hinest truth but then i was like fuck it, SPLURGE, i got a BEAUTIFUL dress for about 150. Ya i know bad but thats all I'm spending, my best friend aka my date is buying the tickets. Its really exciting. I have NO clue why im so excited. Also my heart is soo confused, its still hooked on my ex of a year and a half, which is no bueno. And Im still majorly in love with this guy who lives in flordia who ive know for a very long time. its like if i was dating Yong Hwa, Id drop him for this kid. And Yong Hwa is my like dream guy that i creeply am in love with. but yeah. Ive been a little confused about the whole situation with my mom, like idk if i miss her or not, I hate here more then anything but its like sometimes you just need those awesome mom hugs. Heh ya, and Im graduating early which is super exciting, ill be graduating in December. Im starting college this summer and im looking at either an assosiates or a bachelors in graphic design. I honestly did not want to go straight into college as soon as i was out of high school, but I have a reason now, if I can get my degree, then i can be an english teacher in South Korea. Now and english teacher is not my dream job but I just want to be in Korea, is that such a crime? xD my growing obsession with korea is getting a little bad.. Ummm any other good news? I broke up with the guy i was dating. idk it was just weird. Things have been realy stressful latly, but this weekend is blissfully going to be a blast. (minus my awesome 1.67 in my account and thats it) Haha ya. How is everyone? whats new, whats hapening? I hope everythings good for you all!
~Kiddameh

Ok so I've had an awesomely horrible day... I had tactics act shit this morning, my stomach has hurts for the past 3 days... And I owe around $800 to my school, some is due by April 5th. The rest by the end of the school year. You see I knew about these fees last semester and I talked to my dad about it, he said he would handle it. Well here I am and I'm so fucking stressed I cried before class... I can pay it, little by little. And I don't want my dad to know because he lost his job in January and has been trying very hard to get a job. I know he is stressed but I got it. Another thing, where did people's compassion go? My science teacher fucked me over on my homework due today by not putting the notes up, his reason? " I'm tired of people not taking notes in class" my response as to why I did not take these notes? My best friend had a concusion and I was healing her take notes and by the time I had been able to go back to my own notes, there had already been a few slides. I'm OCD about my notes to so I couldn't continue and I was going to get them offline but guess what there not fucking thee. Thanks you ass for not understanding oh and I broke up with the guy I was dating since November on dater day. Jesus it's just no bueno
( if you don't wanna read this petty  crap then go ahead and stop)
Continuing, I fucking suck at relationships, I'm the kind of girl who finds a guy she likes then does everything in her power to win him over, and when she finally does its like ok ill date you for a month and a half but after that its like ok I'm bored, and I spend the next month feeling guilty and never texting or talking to theperson. I have never been broken up with. Bullshit right? So this time ill wait for the right guy! I have 10 zillion things to say but I can't type it all on an iPod. Short story fuck money people and eveything else.

*rant over*

I feel sorta better ^^